Ever since I graduated
College I always carried a kite in my car. Brigit recently got one and the tradition continued, but flying it did not happen until today. Finally we were at a tree free part of a park with just enough wind and time to spare. It was fun and it happened at 1pm on a Tuesday. One of the great parts of homeschooling – you do stuff when you can, because you can. Hope everyone enjoys their week!
What Were We Up To Last Week? Part 5
Part five of our living and learning adventures!
Art Camp. Recently we went to a fine art museum. Brigit was not fully embracing the experience, so we sat down and had a chat about art. She likes doing it but not necessarily looking at the works of others right now. In an effort to give her an opportunity to learn more about art and find other resources, I found a local museum that does art camps for a few hours a day for a week. They talk to kids about art and give them a chance to do it. I signed her on up. We will see what sparks her interest after delving into it for a week! One specific area she was interested in is pottery. During a visit to a Renaissance Festival she fell in love with the pottery and was impressed at the fact it was made by people with their hands. Unfortunately the camp does not delve into pottery. I don’t blame them. I see a pottery wheel in our future. Another thing for me to research and find resources!
IQ Concepts. Brigit was gifted a game of this name. I have never heard of it before, but the colorful beads immediately attracted Brigit. My mom sat with her for over an hour making different combinations of the attached beads and trying to figure out the challenges. I try to leave it out on the table in my strewing efforts, and Brigit picks it up occasionally and works a challenge. Really gets the brain working!
Chapter Reading. We finally finished The Hobbit! We had already watched the movies and Brigit kind of followed them, enjoying the voice of the Smaug before its demise. I asked if she wanted to continue with the saga by starting the Lord of the Rings, but she said no. She wanted a new series, because she said she likes the way one book leads to another, but was tired of the dwarves. I did some research and came up with some ideas (and legal, free ebook downloads). She picked **** next. I have never read it, unlike our previous book series, so we will both be in for a new adventure!
Sprinkler. Brigit loves swimming. She has learned from me and David, as well as structured classes from instructors. She is at the point where she has the concept down pretty well and can swim across the length of a pool, but got bored with the lessons. We have some pools readily available to us, but sometimes it is nice to just go in the back yard and get wet while the yard gets watered, so we broke out the sprinkler recently. I gotta say, I love this sprinkler! I know it was purchased because it waters all shapes of a yard, from semi-circles to squares to long skinny strips. It also gave us a chance to play around with geometry. based on the shape of the different settings and cut outs where water can get through, we would guess what the spray would look like. 
We also did a lot of trial and error to determine the best setting for playing in the sprinkler spray, for the benefit to the plants was cursory in this experiment. It was also convenient to take a break and slurp down messy popsicles afterwards. A good spray down with the hose took care of the colorful dribbles.
What Were We Up To Last Week? Part 4
Part four of highlights from some weeks of our living and learning lifestyle!
China. Every week or two we pick a country to learn about. Last week was China. We don’t have a structured approach to picking a country – often times it is looking at a world map and Brigit pointing to one. Other times there is something going on in a particular country and Brigit asks questions about it, leading to more in-depth investigations. The great part about this approach is it covers so many aspects and subjects, including government, sociology, geography, invention, cuisine, culture, conflict, and everyday life. This time it had three interesting deviations: carrier pigeons, the Great Wall of China and enchiladas. Believe it or not, carrier pigeons were first used in China. YouTube helped tremendously in how it worked, for I had not a clue. Considering Brigit’s recent interest in architecture and construction I was not surprised about her interest in the wall. Thousands of miles of wall taking thousands of years to build was not lost on her. She was interested in the pretty, lit sections as well as the crumbling, old sections that are no longer maintained. As for the enchiladas, she had a craving for them instead of the ‘authentic’ Chinese fare at a local restaurant I found. There was rice, just the Spanish version. Maybe we will have dim sum some other day. There was also discussion about the type of government currently in place in China and how it differs (and does not differ) from here in the United States. She definitely wants China on her list of places to visit.
Road trip. Brigit is an awesome road tripper. Since she was an infant we have taken long, multiple day road trips. As a baby there was a need for more ‘stuff’ during the trip. Lots of the time she would be the only one in the back seat, so we would fill a large bucket with toys and books. She would pull one out, use it until it bored her or got dropped, then pick another one. It meant a collection period when we stopped for the night – very much worth it for the peaceful traveling. There was some singing of songs and such too, but the giggles and laughing and showing of things to us from the bucket were most effective. Fast forward a few years. 
Now, as a five year old, she is used to entertaining herself, we still have the joy of signing songs, and there is the addition of amazing conversations. After living in Alaska she is hard pressed to be impressed by scenery sometimes, but we try by pointing things out. The Rocky Mountains are actually pretty, ya know.
Fine Art. Long story short, she loved the impressionists but could care less about about Picasso. We visited the McNay Art Institute – a place I spent many hours growing up and after growing up. Walking through the rooms, experiencing a plethora of internationally famous artists and their work. The Institute has expanded significantly from the single building it was when I first started visiting in the 1980s. It has bigger buildings, more outreach and more activities now, compared to when it use to be a small but lively museum open free to the public. Brigit was most attentive in the section with Impressionists, and enjoyed the sculptures both inside and out. 
She also loved the koi pond in the beautiful gardens that make up the atrium in the middle of the original building. My mom and I were much bigger fans compared to Brigit when it came to about 80% of the exhibits. Maybe we will stick with the hands on museums set up for kids a bit longer.
Website. For the past six months Brigit has scowled at the fact she does not have her own website. Daddy has one, Mommy has one, Daddy and Mommy share one, why can’t she have one? Why not? We are still working in setting it up, but soon it will be all Brigit all the time on her own domain. Stay tuned!
What Were We Up To Last Week? Part 3
Here is part three of highlighting stuff we do during a week. There are definitely repetitive and mundane things that happen along with these highlights, which I will address sometimes, but here are some things I have not previously mentioned…
Birthday Party. Every week or so Brigit decides it is the birthday of one of her toys. This week was no exception. It was Sarah the Reindeer’s turn. So far we have made and wrapped for her two presents. Decorations were made and put up, playing with how many rings need to be added to a loop chain to get the perfect amount of ‘drop’ for it. Then a cake was baked and decorated. Sarah was a bit stoic about the whole thing, but we had fun!
Renaissance Festival. Days at festivals are always long and dusty. Whether it is dry or rainy there is a layer of dirt on all bodies. Knowing this, we go without worrying about such things and the expectation of a Brigit nap on the way home. This past weekend was as expected. Brigit wanted to do they bungee bounce, the pirate ship swing and anything else that caused thrills. 
We ate meat on sticks and frozen fruity stuff and unfrozen fruity stuff. Brigit’s first tooth even came out in some of the frozen fruity stuff! We watched artists paint and sculptors sculpt and performers perform. Brigit walked around with her mouth half open. Not to mention a grandma, multiple great aunts, a great uncle, an aunt and some of our lovely young friends who were experiencing the festival for the first time. There was also face painting, hair braiding, turtle races, elephant riding and parade watching. I am tired just writing about it. They great thing about these festivals is that so much is going on, the cell phone reception is horrible and the creativity is overflowing. Brigit always follows the experience with a wealth of ideas and spurts of imagination. They are wonderful! A few weeks ago she spend a bunch of her money on a new toy, but set some money aside for this festival. She carefully decided what to purchase, but ended up deciding against it. It did not hurt her pocketbook to refrain, for there is so much to entertain by just watching, and having a grandma around to make purchases does not hurt either. We were inundated with spells from her new wand. She got frustrated after the tenth time she tried to stupefy my and I did not freeze. her brain was full of the world of Harry Potter from our recent chapter reading and it was fun to watch her role play as the day progressed. There is another festival in the fall, and I will be curious to see what she remembers then.
Home Care. As with any child, Brigit considers chores around the house are a bit boring, and rarely on a list of top things to do with her time. We attempted to exchange effort for funds a while back but she wanted nothing to do with it. I must note that a week later she did the chores proposed and was proud to do them without mention of compensation. Something got through so we were happy. Learning to contribute to the household is important, but not something we want to force to strongly, for a kid should be a kid. She is always up for sweeping and folding laundry or fixing things, so it is a reasonable start. As for the kitchen it is naturally contradictory to Brigit helping, what with all the high cabinets and breakables. We don’t refuse her help in the kitchen, but do so is frustrating for her so is a lesson in patience. Brigit works on putting things away and cleaning, and we have a policy of using what we have (so breaks and damage is no issue), but she still gets tired of the up and down. When she shows interest in cleaning, or learning how, we embrace it. When she wants to sit and not help she is made aware it will take longer (kinda) and makes a choice between helping and more time with us doing something else. Making choices on how time is spent is important and will be something she does all her life. Time versus money, money versus time…
Care and Feeding of Rollie Pollies. In her continued quest to provide complete habitats for anything that fits in a jar, Brigit absconded with a plastic food container, filled it with stuff from the back yard, then added rollie pollies and poop. Her uncle was not impressed with her bringing it in and putting it on the kitchen counter next to his lunch, but they were attentively cared for until released. I expect another collection of bugs soon, for Brigit is out foraging for ‘something more interesting than rollie pollies’ right now! Maybe something that does not eat poop?
Music. Since seeing the movie Momma Mia last year Brigit has been an admirer of ABBA. Multiple times each week, this one being no different, she disappeared with my phone and found their music. I soon here it blasting out of my phone and Brigit is swinging and twisting her body, singing along at the top of her voice. Like me, she seems to have an uncanny ability to remember song lyrics.Kinda funny listening to her sing lyrics she has no understanding of – unrequited love, infidelity, etc. Another interesting aspect of music is along the same vein. When we are driving around and different songs come on the radio she asks me ‘what is this song about?’ and inevitably the answer has something to do with love, hate, happiness, sadness, angst of all kinds. This week Brigit asked why all the songs are about feelings. I asked her the question back. She thought for a moment and said, ‘people think about how they feel a lot, because it is something that they cannot control’. Well, that ended up starting a long conversation. Yay pop music!
What Were We Up To Last Week? Part 2
Here is part two of highlighting some of our weeks living and learning.
Minecraft. Oh heck what a discovery! About six months ago I set up Minecraft Pocket Edition on Brigit’s tablet. She poked around a bit and created waaaay too many pigs, but soon lost interest. Since then she has focused on building things with crystal climbers and Legos. After spending time with playmates that played the game she returned attention to it, then during our recent road trip the wide world of creating got more complex. When I loaded the app on my tablet there was even more attention. Her brain exploded with ideas and plans, while having much fear about ‘survival mode’. My brother is a fan of the game and has much deeper knowledge than me. The difference between him and me is that he has actually played it before. I am still quite a fledgeling along with Brigit. The nuances between creative and survival are becoming clear to Brigit through daily sessions with her uncle. He loves having something to teach her and she is soaking it in! I could dive in and figure it all out, but when you have an uncle with prowess why would she need me?! I have no desire whatsoever to be the one stop shop for all that she is interested in. I am sitting back and letting her teach me as she figures stuff out – a role reversal. We both have tablets that can connect on the network, so it works out great. She is so excited to teach me something. I would like to say I play stupid so she can have more opportunities to teach me, but it is not an act.
Park visits. Kids in our new Texas neighborhood are kinda mean so far. Brigit walks up to them, smiles and introduces herself. So far, kids look at her strangely and proceed like she is not there. WTF? A couple of times there was an ‘alpha’ kid who straight out told her they did not like her. How dare Brigit propose a game of tag? We had extensive conversations about individuals choosing how and with whom they spend their time, and how she has the choice as much as them. The concept is still sinking in to the open and welcoming mind of my lovely girl, but reality sucks sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, she has found some sweet playmates. I just hope the good and bad experiences are getting the warranted amount of time in her busy brain.
Roller skating rink. She and I packed up our roller skates and went to the local rink for a three hour open skate session. Again, she tried to converse with kids her age, but they were soon called to a birthday party set up in the concession area. In their absence and wanting to expand her skating prowess, she sought out other people. She ended connecting with an older woman who was just learning to skate, encouraging her to keep trying and showing her how to ‘glide’. Another connection she made was with a young lady about 12 or 13. Brigit has evolved with roller skating since she got her skates in December. She is pretty smooth and is getting faster. What she saw at the roller rink this week was skating backwards and doing spins and swirls by the young lady. She sooo wanted to learn it. I am just figuring out how to skate again (with a wonky left skate, by the way) so I was not the person to try and show her. She introduced herself to the young lady and asked a bunch of questions. I have no idea what the conversation entailed, but I did observe about thirty minutes of intense conversations between Brigit and the young lady about skating as they rolled around the rink. Before we left they shared a big hug. I expect that next week’s session will be more intense with a few more bruises than this week. I love watching Brigit constantly seeking more skill and pushing herself to learn, as well as finding resources to do so. I am glad to be of help, but feel no need to force anything upon her, no matter how much I have the tendency (and it is definitely there!). The miracle (or not so much) was that Big D joined us for a second session. He has not skated for 30 years, but laced up those tan and orange rentals and rolled away! As with me, getting back on the wheels was quite nostalgic, and he is thinking of getting his very own pair.
Lego Adventure. I know this place is an elaborate ploy in a large metropolitan area to encourage the purchase of a play building supplies provided by a huge corporation. We went anyway. It had rides and a water play area too, so the attraction to Brigit was inevitable. We spent a few fun hours exploring the space. Most of her time was spent building and testing cars on a race track and in the water play area (no surprise). 
Until thunder and lightning forced us inside, Brigit spent a pleasant chunk of time with a new found friend hunting ladybugs and protecting them from the spraying water. Don’t be deceived – the picture reflects a look of joy not terror. Hard to tell by she just got squirted during a chase. I too found a new friend – in the mother of the other girl, which always makes future activities more pleasant. The place encouraged Brigit to exercise in the climbing playscape inside and water park outside. She was able to build to her heart’s content and, of course, came home with a little kit to build and keep. As a result of getting her first Lego set last Christmas Brigit has been inspired to build build build! She has taken to breaking down already built things lately, sending us to the internet and library to research architecture and structures, they trying to recreate them. We spent an hour at a construction site last week so she could just watch the workers prepare frames and rebar for pouring concrete. I am excited to see where this interest takes us next!
What Were We Up To Last Week? Part 1
I am going to spend some time in this spot discussing how Brigit and I spend our time. The approach we are using to educate her seems unstructured and unfocused, but the ultimate result so far is the development of a quite sophisticated, critical mind in a person less than six years old. Anyone who spends ten minutes talking to her will see it. I don’t know if this is common or not. It does not matter, for it is an amazing thing to behold and there is no time limit on discover and wonder.
So much of what she does has long term impacts on her own development. I want to be able to look back and see what works and what doesn’t for her, and how I can do the best I can to support her journey. Here are five things that happened this past week. Sometimes we go in so many different directions in a week a great idea may get dropped from lack of time. Hopefully I can catch some of them here so we can pick them up later if lost.
A new place. We arrived at my brother’s house recently after driving across the country. We are finally in a semi-permanent spot where we are not changing locations every night. Learning the nuances of someone’s home and habits is a new thing. It is not a big stretch, for my brother is pretty laid back and busy with a new job. He is happy to spend time with us over dinner when he gets home, and appreciates that someone spends time with the quietly aging pit bull sweetie doggie of his.
Brigit asked for two things in a new ‘place’ – a dog and a back yard. She gets both here (at least temporarily) and is enjoying learning about dog behavior and the nooks and crannies of a lush, green, bushy yard (including the need to scoop the poop). A whole new metroplex to explore is a bit of a temptation too!
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. We watched the 1973 and 2005 versions. We watched the older version at least a dozen times over the past few years, so she is intimately acquainted with the plot and characters. We compared and contrasted the versions. Highlights of her observations include: the new Wonka is creepier, the new version has more details about Wonka’s background and why he loves making candy so much, the songs in the old version are easier to follow, and both movies have neat cinematography (a new word and concept that took us on a tangent in the middle of the discussion). Next on the topic will be reading the book. Not a high priority – frankly, the book is confusingly freaky and we are in the middle of another series right now. She said she preferred the older movie version because it was simple and left more mystery about the characters, letting her come up with her own stories ‘on the edges of the movie’.
Chapter book reading. We are on book seven of the Harry Potter series. We started with book one in February and have gradually made it to the seventh. A lot of discussion occurs about the story line and character development as we progress. During the more tense times of the story she breaks into my reading and proposes a solution or fix for the problems characters are having. Brigit is definitely a member of the Order of the Phoenix. I am wondering if her opinion of Snape changes when she gets more information, but we will see! When I read she sits there and sometimes works on pot holders or varied craft projects. Other times she just curls up and listens. Sometimes when I take a break she begs for a later break because she has ‘formed a picture in her head from the words and does not want to lose it yet!’. I think I am safe as long as I don’t get laryngitis!
Money. One day we were in a mall. Not my preferred place to spend a day, but that was where they built the aquarium we visited. On a money related note, Brigit wants another “Build a Bear” (BaB) exceedingly overdressed stuffed animal. Her current BaB is decked out in a tutu, sparkly shoes and a tiara – a Christmas gift last year. After having a slightly dramatic discussion about the expense and timing of a newly built being not being hers that day (no instant gratification), she spend thirty minute going through the store deciding what she wanted in the future. The cost of other activities planned for the week did not result in capacity for adding the potential new family member out of the family budget. The discussion evolved into the options available for actually getting one, which included 1) asking for a new one on her birthday (two months away), 2) waiting until the family budget allowed for it (with no guarantee when that would happen) or 3) using her own money……oooohhhhh! Her own money! The brain started working like gangbusters! The whole thing resulted in quite a math lesson. We located four different places in her toys, backpack and lovies where she carefully stashed her money before we moved – from past special occasion gifts and such. Oh my, she has accumulated quite a pile! After spending half an hour figuring out the currency and counting it all up, she discovered the pot of gold she has been hoarding would be plenty for her new BaB! Needless to say, she has grand plans for later in the week (on another unfortunate visit to the mall) to purchase a newly built and fully decked out ‘bear’. It will be more interesting when she has more stringent funds, but for now she will be extravagant, I expect. When we finally arrived with her wallet in hand at the store she went on a spree that far exceeded her funds. Hard decisions had to be made, but the purchase was winnowed down to fit within her budget. In summary, she now has a softly stuffed cat with a sparkly wardrobe, roller skates, pink bed and pink carrying backpack.She carefully set some funds aside for the Renaissance Festival in the near future – we will see how that works out!
Animals Part II. We had a new doggie join us this week. We went from one old dog (14 years) and one non-young cat (11 years) to adding a one year old doggie. The peaceful animal behavior and level of calm has dropped noticeably. During our road trip Brigit focused specifically on cat behavior and body language, helping our cat to be as comfortable as possible in the truck and hotel rooms. This week we have added the study of dog behavior, especially the difference between that of old and young. Different species but the the same concept in many ways. Walks of a hesitant, cautious cat on a leash during the trip have turned into walks of two dogs that seem to constantly go in opposite directions. Brigit liked dancing around them while I tried to keep from tangling my legs to the point of tripping. The ultimate workout! The younger dog left soon after, but was an interesting lesson in observation, similarities and differences!
Princess Part II
Brigit and I had an interesting conversation today. About princesses. More specifically, Disney princesses. We had a princess encounter about a year ago, but she was not really involved. Since the underwear incident Brigit has rejected a few princesses “because they don’t do anything”, like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. As their stories are read or the movies watched she wonders why they don’t do something to help themselves. Without going into how their families influenced their lack or action, I am glad she picks up on the nuances of the particular stories, but don’t really have an answer for her. Another extreme came up today. Some of the more recent movie princess characters, like Rapunzel and Merida, she really likes. Note that I said characters, not movies. Thing is, she does not like watching the movies themselves.
Today she stayed home sick with fever. I suggested maybe we should watch Tangled or Brave, based on her previous interest in the characters and the fact she was not interested in doing much else. She said no. Hmmm. Liking the characters, but not liking the movies. I asked a few questions to delve deeper, hoping that she would not realize I was very interested. This is important, because as soon as I show keen interest in her thoughts and opinions she starts joking and changing the subject and not letting me know what I want. Selfish, maybe, but I have been around longer and still get to manipulate her, at least for now…when I can get away with it.
According to Brigit, she likes the princesses but gets upset when Merida’s mom turns into a bear because of what she did, and when Rapunzel’s mom shows to be using Rapunzel and gets mean – it is too much for her to want to watch. This is a mom-cetric theme that I do not at the moment take to heart, but will explore later (what the hell am I doing to her to make her have mom issue?!!!! Is it her being unconditionally in love with me or just me being psychotic??!!!).
Our discussion went this way and that, but the bottom line was she did not like seeing the challenge set before the characters; that seeing the thing making life difficult is hard to watch. Our conversation meandered to the ultimate conclusion that the characters overcome adversity and discovering happiness on the other side, although it is not clear what would happen from the get go.
She was not convinced that the happy resolution made it worth watching the movies. It makes me actually want to watch the movies with her and talk her through the process. I don’t necessarily think the be-all-end-all-source of learning to face adversity is princess movies, but there is established a foundation of emotional reaction. A place to start, for I know for a fact she will encounter adversity in her life. Her dad and I do so every day. Maybe it is something to tackle another time. She is barely five and I can’t make her as ready as I can for the world all at once. A work in progress about princesses…as a result of a fever and hanging out on the couch.
Fledgling Photographer
When Brigit was a week old I got my first ‘smart’ phone. I did not know much about them, but knew that it would come in handy keeping in touch with people with one hand, expecting at least one arm constantly full for the next year or so. Besides keeping in touch with friends and family, it also means that Brigit has not known a time when more than a single device is needed to make calls, have video chats, play games, check out the Internet, send e-mails and, of course, take pictures. She has been the subject of many snapshots, and very quickly decided she wanted to take some herself. She was about two when she started using my phone to click away. Many were blurry, but every once in a while she captured an image that made me really stop and ponder. Although probably more a coincidence than plan, she has taken some pretty neat shots.
Recently she turned the big FIVE! To celebrate the occasion Grandma Sherry bought her a camera of her very own. It is pink, bounces pretty well and holds about 800 digital images. It goes with us almost everywhere. Deep down I have a hope that maybe this interest will evolve into her being a professional photographer, traveling the world recording and sharing images. Who knows if this will ever happen, for if she does not do it, I may go ahead and accomplish such feats myself, for I dabble in it myself. Here are some of her recent gems. Hmmm….why wait? Yet again, she is my inspiration.
Here are some shots from her new camera. I will dig some up from the past and post them soon.
Kindergarten
Recently Brigit informed me that all five-year-olds go to kindergarten and she wanted to go too. Hmmm. I know where this is coming from – the other kids with whom she spends her weekdays. Some are starting this fall, and others have older siblings already in a traditional classroom school.
I am sure it is doubly confusing for because David and I use the word school a bit differently than most. When she goes to her awesome ‘pre-school’, which has her running around outside and climbing mountains about six hours every day. She is learning to socialize and communicate and share, just like all four year olds should. When David takes her on an adventure we call it Brigit-Daddy school, because she is learning about her surroundings and people and the woods and reading and how to have silly fun. Other times there are adventures called Brigit-Mommy school. It may be a trip to see movie, sit on the beach, play at the park or just the grocery store, but learning happens, which is what schooling is all about.
Our approach falls under what is generally called unschooling. We have relied on the concept for the past year and plan to continue doing so. It does not include a traditional classroom. It relies on the child to pursue interests as she chooses. It is more of a project-based approach to learning, as opposed to stove piped subjects. it is something that very much fits our family’s day to day life and Brigit’s natural curiosity.
We have talked to her about school before, but turning five any day now includes more and more discussions about classroom school, carried over from her time with her buddies headed there in August. I asked her what she plans on doing in kindergarten. She is not sure, so I prompted her. Ironically I recently looked up what was expected from a kindergarten ‘graduate’, so I could discuss the issue intelligently with those who are firm believers in classroom schooling. Here is what I discovered.
At the end of kindergarten kids should:
-Follow print from left to right and from top to bottom of a page when stories are read aloud
-Understand the relationship between print and pictures
-Recognize the shapes and names of all the letters in the alphabet (both uppercase and lowercase letters)
-Write many uppercase and lowercase letters on her own
-Understand that spoken words are made up of separate sounds
-Recognize and makes rhymes
-Identify words that have the same beginning sound
-Know a number of letter-sound relationships
-Understand that the order of letters in a written word represents the order of sounds in a spoken word
-Recognize some common words on sight, such as a, the, I, said, you, is, are
-Listen carefully to books read aloud
-Ask and answer questions about stories
-Use what he already knows to help him understand a story
-Predict what will happen in a story based on pictures or information in the story
-Retell and/or act out stories
-Know the difference between “made-up” (fiction) and “real” (nonfiction) books and the difference between stories
-Use phonemic awareness and letter knowledge to spell and write words
-Begin to spell some words correctly
-Write his own first and last name and the first names of some friends, classmates, or family members
-Write some letters and words as they are said to her
-Play with and is curious about words and language
-Use new words in her own speech
-Know and use words that are important to school work, such as the names for colors, shapes and numbers
-Know and use words that are important to daily life, such as street names and addresses and names for community workers
She actually has about 95% of the list figured out. The accomplishments by the end of a year of sitting in a classroom sounds pretty basic, and maybe the list IS basic. I don’t know. I am not a trained educator. Not that you could test her, because the moment she figures out you are trying to figure her out, she stops letting you and clams up. Careful observation from afar and subtle scheming reveals her skill sets. I am not saying she will be bored if she goes to a structured Kindergarten class, but I worry what will happen when she already knows what is being taught in a lesson and wants to do something else, rather than sitting through information she already knows. Will she be bored? Is the classroom set up for such situations? Will she perceive situations as ‘punishment’ for already knowing something? The ‘punishment’ happened to both me and her father, and we don’t want her to experience it.
We would love to do full time unschooling instead of a classroom, but Brigit wants to go to school. Since she was born we have planned on not putting her into a structured school, but our perfect plan to be available to do so by now has not happened quite as expected. We are thinking of letting her try school. If she does not like it, we can change our priorities and do it at home. If she does like it, and we do supplemental experiences and projects, we will feel good about it and she will be happy. How can that harm? We may just have to see…
Morning Grind
Weekday mornings in our house can be calm or cluttered, quiet or tense. I am never sure which way it is going to turn out. For one week I kept track.
On Monday Brigit woke up before David and I, crawled into bed with us and cuddled before we slowly rose. We did our morning routine. She got dressed quickly and was actually waiting for me to get ready (I usually am ready before her) and skipped out the door happily.
Tuesday she was mostly awake, but still in bed at 7am, the time I usually start nudging her to get up. She was dragging a bit, playing like she was still asleep, so I let her know of our impending departure in about 20 minutes. A countdown every five minutes or so was enough to stir her into action and we were out the door right on time. Of course, she only used the last four minutes, which is all she actually needs. Ugh.
Wednesday was similar to Tuesday, with a little more urgency than usual from me, for I actually had an early meeting to get to on time. I know adding urgency does not help, but it happens. She made a game about who could get dressed first. Some excitement ensued when we each had only one shoe left to put on. My shoe buckle got ‘stuck’ at the last minute and she beat me getting dressed! On the way to her sitter and my work we had her ‘lovies’ dance to the music on the radio while waiting at red lights.
Thursday she popped right out of bed about 6:45. We had a little chat about what was to come during the day. She played a bit with her toys (looking at me regularly to see how long she could do it before I said anything) and got down to the business of getting dressed. After negotiating the content of her breakfast, and three changes of mind, we were finally out the door. One stop to watch a slug cross the walkway made for a delayed trip to the car, but was fun and a simple joy. We were running later than usual, but without early meetings, I tried to be laid back and enjoy it.
Friday was insane. I woke up first, and at the latest possible moment went to wake up Brigit, who was sleeping soundly. She resisted. Since I did not have an early meeting I went and sat down, giving her some space to wake up and get going. She finally got up, more because of a full bladder than anything else, and proceeded to find everything else she could possibly do except get dressed. Nudging did not work, nagging did not work. We were quickly progressing toward leaving pretty late, even for a late morning departure. She lashed out in anger whenever David or I suggested a course of action for her – maybe just being dramatic because we were paying attention, maybe actual anger. She proceeded to yell and throw her clothes and glare at the two of us. David and I both ended up nagging her even more about getting ready. We kept looking at each other in amazement. I was wondering what became of my level-headed, intelligent, helpful girl from the previous weekday mornings. She calmed down a bit and finally got dressed. We left the house, both of us a little gloomy, having started our day with such a high level of tension.
We do what we can to make sure than any consequences presented to Brigit are real. In the case of getting ready ‘on time’ there are actually little or no real consequences to Brigit, but the impact is actually on me and David. Regardless of whether we leave on time or not for David and my schedules, she will spend the day with the sitter and her friends. It is difficult to get her invested in the consequences David and I experience. Does she yet feel compelled to move more quickly in the morning so mommy can keep a promise to be on time to a meeting? Nope. If daddy misses a deadline because he started working late does she care? Not yet. Having less time to play and do things in the evening is the closest thing to a direct consequence to her that we have identified, but the actual connection of the consequence nine hours later, or the impact on the next morning’s getting ready process, ends up being minimal.
As she gets older the mornings lean more towards our Thursday and Friday experience than the Monday through Wednesday experiences I described above.
When I think back on the week and wonder what I could have done differently to help make the mornings more relaxed I came to a few conclusions.
1) Going to bed earlier – this does not always work, but could indeed make a difference. Regardless of when she goes to bed or how undisturbed her sleep time is, she rarely sleeps more than nine hours. Earlier bedtime does not always translate into getting to sleep earlier for my headstrong little girl. Making sure she is at least winding down early enough so she has the potential to get nine hours of sleep should be a priority.
2) Incentives for getting ready on time – by incentives I mean treats or special activities as reward for meeting deadlines. I don’t mind using this tact occasionally, but rewards for accomplishing everyday routine is not realistic. When she is an adult she won’t get a toy every time she is on time for routine commitments. The incentive to do so is the reward of other people relying on promises she makes and their belief that she will keep promises in the future. I have used the incentive approach in the past very successfully, but keep it as a last resort – she is still a kid, and bribing does often work.
3) Chillax – I can do this a lot of the time, but it is not always easy. What I can do easily is get uptight and find it difficult to chill out or relax. I am very aware that Brigit can sense much of the tension I feel, through the tone of my voice or body language. I know she reacts to it and some of her behavior is directly related to mine. What I show her. If I can begin by chillaxing, then whatever we are doing is bound to go better than if I don’t.
4) Ask her opinion – gasp! Sounds simple, but how many times have I just decided on a schedule or plans without consulting her? A lot. Listening to my little girl more often could change our world.
This is the first of what I expect to be many scenarios where there is a timing issue with Brigit. Hers is a world of wonder and exploring, not of deadlines and meetings. Keeping that perspective in mind is important, and I want to do better at it. I want us to work together and develop a relationship that will help us face challenges in the future, and this is definitely a place to start.