Brigit and I had an interesting conversation today. About princesses. More specifically, Disney princesses. We had a princess encounter about a year ago, but she was not really involved. Since the underwear incident Brigit has rejected a few princesses “because they don’t do anything”, like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. As their stories are read or the movies watched she wonders why they don’t do something to help themselves. Without going into how their families influenced their lack or action, I am glad she picks up on the nuances of the particular stories, but don’t really have an answer for her. Another extreme came up today. Some of the more recent movie princess characters, like Rapunzel and Merida, she really likes. Note that I said characters, not movies. Thing is, she does not like watching the movies themselves.
Today she stayed home sick with fever. I suggested maybe we should watch Tangled or Brave, based on her previous interest in the characters and the fact she was not interested in doing much else. She said no. Hmmm. Liking the characters, but not liking the movies. I asked a few questions to delve deeper, hoping that she would not realize I was very interested. This is important, because as soon as I show keen interest in her thoughts and opinions she starts joking and changing the subject and not letting me know what I want. Selfish, maybe, but I have been around longer and still get to manipulate her, at least for now…when I can get away with it.
According to Brigit, she likes the princesses but gets upset when Merida’s mom turns into a bear because of what she did, and when Rapunzel’s mom shows to be using Rapunzel and gets mean – it is too much for her to want to watch. This is a mom-cetric theme that I do not at the moment take to heart, but will explore later (what the hell am I doing to her to make her have mom issue?!!!! Is it her being unconditionally in love with me or just me being psychotic??!!!).
Our discussion went this way and that, but the bottom line was she did not like seeing the challenge set before the characters; that seeing the thing making life difficult is hard to watch. Our conversation meandered to the ultimate conclusion that the characters overcome adversity and discovering happiness on the other side, although it is not clear what would happen from the get go.
She was not convinced that the happy resolution made it worth watching the movies. It makes me actually want to watch the movies with her and talk her through the process. I don’t necessarily think the be-all-end-all-source of learning to face adversity is princess movies, but there is established a foundation of emotional reaction. A place to start, for I know for a fact she will encounter adversity in her life. Her dad and I do so every day. Maybe it is something to tackle another time. She is barely five and I can’t make her as ready as I can for the world all at once. A work in progress about princesses…as a result of a fever and hanging out on the couch.